The Net Effect

If you're thinking this is just another article about how the "Net" has changed our lives positively, you are right. And, if you're thinking this is just another article about how the "Net" has changed out lives negatively, you are right again! See, I just gave you a win-win situation.

So, what do I want to prove here? Something that lurks in the gray areas of the Internet-aftermath!

When the World Wide Web boomed in leaps and bounds, I was excited, to say the least. Like so many of you out there, I too was slowly but steadily getting addicted. Then there was this craze of getting all my friends connected via the web. And in a short span of time, as Internet cafe's blossomed in every street, even the ones who were not very technologically adept had an email id and got chatting.

I was simply overjoyed to be able to chat with my friend who lived down the road via my computer. Days went by, life took us our ways. She moved to another city. But hey, thanks to the net we were in touch. Years flew past and then I met her after over half a decade. And that moment, all of a sudden, there was a feeling of emptiness in the air between us. We used to chat often, but now were unable to begin a simple conversation. The exchange of words that seemed so easy through the paraphernalia of technology had somehow put us in a weird spot. It took us a while to really get talking because over the years chatting had made us portray another side to us. Not that we meant to do so, but it just happened. We had to use bits and pieces of our "net" conversations to actually get things flowing. Its one thing to say, time and lifestyles change people but its totally another with a situation like this.

Yes, we could argue saying its not necessarily due to the Internet. Things like this happened even during the times when snail mail flourished. That, I would say, was different. You dint quite chat, per se. The time lapse between letters did help to a certain extent. There is a lot more to real-time chatting than there is to writing letters. Online chatting gives you a lot of options and not to forget, flexibility! Im sure you'll agree with me the next time you tell that old friend online that you have to go out and click that little 'x' mark to close the chat window, but all you wanted to do was end the conversation. I'm guessing that's how the other facet of individuals slowly surface. Then, suddenly before you know it, that incoming message from an ex-coworker with whom you shared your coffee breaks becomes a hindrance.

No, I'm not against chatting. I do it almost all the time too. But I was wondering if I'm the only one who feels this way. Do you, too?

One for the 'Ages'

I sat across the table with my husband at a restaurant that we decided to stop by after months to have Mumbai Style Chaat. My little son, Samvit, was perched upon an old restaurant-style high chair next to me. We enjoyed the spicy snack while the lady at the neighboring table kept watching Samvit's antics as he made weird noises and kept himself busy with the tissue papers and ketchup packets. I could sense a question coming my way.

The lady asked - "How old is he?"

"Fourteen months". Fourteen months? Woah. Where did I pick that up from? I could have simply rounded it off as One year. Why did two months count? I realized Id picked up this way of saying my child's age from friends and other people who project their childrens' age in months.

I remember meeting a mother of a little girl at party and when I asked her age, the lady sighed and said, "Oh she is twenty two months.. such a brat already!". It took me a moment to decipher that. I realised she could have easily told me her daughter would turn two shortly.

How the months slowly fade away, I really don't know. At one time a child is thirty six months and the next thing you know he is four years old. And then before you know it he is in his teens. And before he knows it, its the late-twenties. And before his kids know it, its already mid-forties. And when its time to retire, phew, sixty plus!! No, Im not going to venture describing anythign beyond that. I dont think I'll make it anywhere close to my fifties anyway....!!

Let us ass.u.me....

I still vividly remember my History teacher way back from seventh grade... Short, fair, neatly worn hair and a voice that made heads turn. Like most teachers, she had a favourite statement.... "Don't assume things I did not mention... Assume almost implies making an ass of you and me!Ass.U.Me. Get it?" At that moment it seemed funny and really nothing but just another remark from a teacher who was furious at her students.

But today as I look back and think about it, it makes way much more sense than I thought. And now, as it seems to emerge from my mind, it comes generously coated with all the ambiguity life has to offer. All that is certain, enveloped with all that is uncertain and intangible.

It may sound puzzling at first to know the way life leads us through its rather monotonous ways but yet gets us to milestones that we seek. And on the way, we encounter so much, that makes what we can call "life". One very nice quote I remember at this point is, "Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans". So true. You assume so many things and make plans but life takes you in an entirely different direction.

The reason this thought came to me was due to a simple incident that occurred not too long ago. On just another unusual day, we woke up, did all that we had to do and the day went by. We were invited for dinner at my aunt's place in Bangalore since we were to travel back to the US and had just two days left. We had a great time there. Then when we got home, just as you too may have assumed we slept. I too assumed that I will sleep. But the next thing I know I had the worst abdominal pains and was taken to the hospital and admitted there. And before I could gain back my strength I had IV/drips flowing down into my body. And the way the events turned it made us wonder if we could travel at all.

How comfortably we had assumed that nothing could go wrong! We all do this so many times. In fact, almost all the time with our near and dear ones. We assume that nothing can happen. But when it does, it takes us by shock and surprise. We assume that we can comfortably live in our own orbits and assume that nothing can happen to us. A neighbour happens to be a part of a car crash, we assume it could never be us. A stranger misses his flight - oh, that could never be us. A building burns down in the next town - that can not happen to us, ever. Terror strikes a country - oh, not us, NO Way!! We forget to count our blessings, forget to give credit to everyone in our lives, and forget to thank God what is in our hands. We assume, its all normal and cant change. We assume way too many things for our own good. We assume!!

Pinks and Blues

A month or two ago we met up with one of our family friends. We were generally conversing regarding children and the 'oh-so-scary-for-parents' peer pressure. We discussed how kids these days ask for fancy, hi-tech gadgets not because they want it but more because their friends have it. To a certain extent its easy to stop them and control their demands. But what if this so called peer pressure extends to a psychological domain? What do you do when it begins questioning your child's existence with other children his age?

This friend we met have a son who is about eight years old. One day after school he apparently came over to his mother and told her he wanted a new pair of sports shoes. She was surprised because the one he had right then was something he had picked up out of his own will not very long ago. When she denied his request he said, "Ma, but they all say if I wear this shoe I'm a girl". His mom was perplexed. She asked him, "Why would they say that and why would you believe so?". He replied sadly, "Because it has a purple line in it". This surprised his mother even more. He quickly added, "Purple is for girls." She stood looking at him with her lips pursed not knowing what more to say. The next day he had another pair of shoes with no streaks or shades of purple or pink.

I'm not sure sometimes if I could call this as peer-pressure or simply imbibing ideas into young minds. Ideas that they grow up with and ones that carve the way they think. Its amazing but true, but we elders too do fall for such things only so that we "go with the flow".

Not too long after a baby is born a major part of the child's wardrobe is dominated by shades of just one colour. Pinks for girls, blues for boys. I think its becoming so cliched and so boring too. In fact, its so very contradicting - In a world where we are fighting to have both genders equal, we begin by differentiating right from the start!! While nature offers us so many hues, we are busy categorizing ourselves in to the Pinks and the Blues.

The color of the mind

The color of the mind

……B L A C K

Black… The absence of light. Black… The dawn of the night.
Black… The beginning of life. Black… The shade of magnificence.
Black… The color of fear. Black… The language of the blind.

It’s amazing, how this one color has so many faces to it. On one hand if we say that death is the end of light and the beginning of black, on the other we have black, the darkness from which we are all born.

If the eyes see hues of colors, then what is the color of the mind??

Most ideas are born out of a shut mind. A mind that is left to itself no matter what the eyes see. You may be present in a situation of highest level of vigor and color, say a party… but your mind, your true self has its own thoughts.

The mind, so vulnerable can very easily detach itself from everything around and get into its own shell of thought… black???

Take a simple example of a little child in a classroom. The child can listen to the teacher and can also listen to his/her own self. While originally he/she is instructed to listen to the teacher, the child can easily get carried away by the smallest sound outside the classroom. A bird chirps, and off goes the mind of the child.

What the world may call distraction is the actual soul that lies in all of us. A soul and a mind that responds to nature’s smallest interaction with us. Thought triggers distraction and the mind triggers thought. Ah! What do we have here now? Is the mind an entity, a soul in itself? Is it true then, that who we are is what the world has made us by capturing our mind?

At this point you can give yourself two parallel lines of thought.
1. What will a mind, allowed to think freely grow into? A free soul or just a plain human being with raw qualities and emotions.
2. It is out of ideas from the mind that we have so many inventions all around us today. Most of which were outcomes of tamed and most of the times educated minds that thought freely.
In either case the pivotal role is that of the mind. A mind - in a state of thought. Can anyone for just a moment stay without thinking?

Ok. Jus for a moment shut your eyes… It’s easy… Black.
Now with you eyes shut, shut your mind. Easy? Try harder, don’t think. No, not yet. You are still thinking about trying not to think. Black, again… But is it fully black? No?

The color of your mind engulfs the most vivid thoughts, ideas and colors... So what’s the color of your mind now??

Say a little prayer

My son seemed to have a running nose when I picked him up yesterday afternoon while he was crawling all over the place, as usual. I wiped him clean and realised that I myself had a stuffy nose. That very moment I thought to myself, "Oh God, I hope he has not caught a cold!". Much later did I figure out that it was just nothing but a whiff of allergy that swept by since both of us are fine today. As any mother would do, my mind was brooding over the fact that I must be more careful since the temperature was dropping with every passing day. And then it struck me that it was after all a little prayer that I had said when I saw my baby's little runny nose. I began thinking even more deeply on the aspect, and for that moment atleast, felt God had answered my prayers.

Its a weird thing to say, but sometimes its such small prayers that are really answered. Probably because they come from deep within the heart. No matter how many times I pull myself to a religious place sometimes the real prayers come out only when they need to, and what more to be said, are answered!

No, im not trying to condemn those of you who go all the way to temples, mosques, churches etc. to pray. Its more about the faith than the act here. Im sure you agree to what I have here. Im sure you have been in a situation yourself where you buckle your fingers tight with complete hope and say that little prayer, not neccessarily addressing God, and want it to be answered from deep down in your heart and soul. At that instant, what you are praying for is what you want more badly that you can think. And then, we have people who claim themselves to be aethists... ahem ahem!!

America Votes - The world watches

On the morning November 4th, 2008 I woke up, finding myself turning on the television set to watch the US Elections. It was the very first time in my life that something related to politics seemed to nudge my latent interest in this domain. Honestly, I still don't know too much about the elections or what kind of repercussions the results of the same may have. But something about this election makes me want to keep a close tab on its happenings. What is it I wonder, for it has never ever happened previously, even in my own country, that it mattered to me as to who became the President, Prime Minister or even my states Chief Minister per se!

It felt so good just to watch the Americans wake up early in the morning and go to vote for their prospective President. Each and every telecast showed people standing in queues with a fervor similar to that of a teenager voting for his College Union President. When asked why they vote, one said - "Because my vote matters", another said - "Because it makes me a part of history". It felt good to hear this. Almost patriotic in a foreign land. Paradoxical as it may seem, I never felt the same back in India about our elections. Why dont we feel that way back there? Is it the media? Is it the hype of elections and the lull that follows? Or is it the message of the politicians?

My guess is its the last one. Although the campaigning goes on with similar energy, or perhaps even more (not to forget all the drums and dancing that happens on the roads!), I think its the words of the candidates that matter. Here in America, its not just another speech, its a commitment. Something that you can rely on and something that you know will definitly come in place when that particular candidate is elected. And then of course there is this other thing - Enthusiasm. A quick follower to this would be Selflessness of the candidates. I never heard any politician here say "I" in his or her speech.. its either "We" or "America". I guess we Indians have a lot to learn apart from just sporting western brands and accents!!