Wheels of Fortune

Ok. As much as I avoid talking about baby, motherhood and parenting... I simply can't get it totally out of my head. It's a part and parcel of my daily life and I had to throw in this post on a teeny weeny incident that got me thinking.

The sun had (finally) decided not to set at 4ish and the sunrays made their way well into 7:30pm just the other day. Yes, I'm still in Spring into Spring mode. But why not? It's among the best feelings I've ever felt.

So, as the sunshine danced its way down the skies, the fresh air beckoned me to take a walk. But, it was not just as easy as you thought. Change, wear sneakers and off you go? Nopes! With me, I had to lug on my cell phone, keys, a water bottle, a diaper bag (if its a longer stay outside), a mind satisfied that my son will sit without throwing tantrums in his stroller!! Oh, I forgot to add stroller to my list.

The first time that I did this whole exercise I was only cursing myself (and the blood rushing to all my muscles) as to why I decided to take my little boy out. But, hey, he needed some fresh air too! And for all the glories of living on the first floor garden apartment (no elevator) I had to do stretches, bicep curls, squats, lunges and abs all in a matter of 2 minutes in order to get my "list" out and rolling. It took another couple of minutes to figure out in which handle I put what from my list so I could answer my phone just in case anyone called. Phew, and then I gave that little nudge and the two of us were out enjoying all the wholesome goodness of a nice spring evening.

As I walked, I thought about how much I complained to myself when I got out of home. How many times during my "mini-workout" routine did I reconsider what I was doing? How many times did I battle with myself about staying home as against going out simply because I did not want to encounter those 2 minutes? Then something occurred to me - How did my parents manage this? I mean, they did not use strollers back then. In fact, even now in India most people don't even own one. They carry their babies and toddlers all around the place. And that sure needs a lot more strength than my "mini-workout" to get us out for walk. And that moment, I thanked God for having giving some man somewhere the idea of inventing the wheel....and with time and evolution, a stroller! Trust me, they are wheels of fortune.

Ugh, the grapes are sour!

Yeah. Its summer. Well, almost! And I know you would disagree with me because the grapes ARE turning sweet. Ah, what a wake up from the cold, bitter winter indeed. Hmph! But what I want to tell you is a whole different story... and, its nothing to do with grapes. Yes, you can whack me for talking all about it till now. Hehe.

Its three years since Ive been wanting to go to Central Park. And I wanted to go there only in Spring. Oh yeah, I know they don't have grapes growing there, they just have Strawberry Fields. Haha!

Okay, sorry.. Ill get back to my topic. Yes so its been three years since I have wanted to visit this lovely, serene patch (patch? Wake up lady, its HUGE!) of green land not too far away from where we live. Well, the first year we just got to the US and by the time I learnt about it it was winter. And in winter, I would dare not step onto the walkway out of my house, let alone Central Park. Then the following year we decided we would go there, but on the way we met friends who were going to The Bronx Zoo and we just joined them. Blah. And by the third year I was heavily pregnant and due in mid winter. And considering how house-bound you get with a new baby the whole idea of going in Spring to NY had to be thrown out of the window.

But here I am, in my fourth year of hope... and this weekend we plan to go. Then again, I dont want to raise my anxiety until the event happens and is over! For all you know we will end up shopping in some mall down the road instead...

Funny, how there are some things in life that dont happen and we just settle with what is? We console ourselves that its never going to happen. Lets see if my grapes turn sweet this weekend!

An Ode to Mom!

Mother's Day! We could pass it off as just another "Day" in the year... Just like Valentine's day, Friendship Day etc. But I'm guessing it would be a lot easier to do this, had I not been a Mom myself. And I'm thinking it would be a pretty looking greeting card with some nice words - Mom, thank you for being there for me. For being so sweet always and being who you are!

Sounds good. Sounds fair. And, definitely will make her SO HAPPY.

But ever since I hopped onto this new role, I think its just not enough. This day seems to have taken over a whole new meaning for me although we don't quite celebrate it in our culture. For starters, I have come to believe its a lot more than filling tummies, changing diapers, and being a play pal. It transcends way beyond this. And the world will agree. But how I failed to notice all that is something that makes me feel totally stupid.

I never knew how much value that first smile from a baby held for a new mom until my little boy parted his lips, looked at me (yes, me!) and gave that precious expression!! I never knew the effort it took in putting just about ten morsels of food into that same little mouth and in the end of a one hour feeding session feel as if I had the meal! I never knew the unbound joy of hearing that same little mouth babble nonsensical words and believe that he was telling me he wants me with him always! And while I promise to hold his hand for until I can, I feel the pleasure of him grow with every passing day... with a bittersweet sensation at the back of my mind!

Just as I do that, I sit back and wonder - It's just over a year now, and I've come to this stage where I have a whirlwind of emotions running in my heart... I'm wondering just how MY Mom feels after all these years of being a mother.

Kudos to you Mom, and yes, this time I mean every word I'm saying - I Love You for Who You ARE!!!