Wheels of Fortune

Ok. As much as I avoid talking about baby, motherhood and parenting... I simply can't get it totally out of my head. It's a part and parcel of my daily life and I had to throw in this post on a teeny weeny incident that got me thinking.

The sun had (finally) decided not to set at 4ish and the sunrays made their way well into 7:30pm just the other day. Yes, I'm still in Spring into Spring mode. But why not? It's among the best feelings I've ever felt.

So, as the sunshine danced its way down the skies, the fresh air beckoned me to take a walk. But, it was not just as easy as you thought. Change, wear sneakers and off you go? Nopes! With me, I had to lug on my cell phone, keys, a water bottle, a diaper bag (if its a longer stay outside), a mind satisfied that my son will sit without throwing tantrums in his stroller!! Oh, I forgot to add stroller to my list.

The first time that I did this whole exercise I was only cursing myself (and the blood rushing to all my muscles) as to why I decided to take my little boy out. But, hey, he needed some fresh air too! And for all the glories of living on the first floor garden apartment (no elevator) I had to do stretches, bicep curls, squats, lunges and abs all in a matter of 2 minutes in order to get my "list" out and rolling. It took another couple of minutes to figure out in which handle I put what from my list so I could answer my phone just in case anyone called. Phew, and then I gave that little nudge and the two of us were out enjoying all the wholesome goodness of a nice spring evening.

As I walked, I thought about how much I complained to myself when I got out of home. How many times during my "mini-workout" routine did I reconsider what I was doing? How many times did I battle with myself about staying home as against going out simply because I did not want to encounter those 2 minutes? Then something occurred to me - How did my parents manage this? I mean, they did not use strollers back then. In fact, even now in India most people don't even own one. They carry their babies and toddlers all around the place. And that sure needs a lot more strength than my "mini-workout" to get us out for walk. And that moment, I thanked God for having giving some man somewhere the idea of inventing the wheel....and with time and evolution, a stroller! Trust me, they are wheels of fortune.

Ugh, the grapes are sour!

Yeah. Its summer. Well, almost! And I know you would disagree with me because the grapes ARE turning sweet. Ah, what a wake up from the cold, bitter winter indeed. Hmph! But what I want to tell you is a whole different story... and, its nothing to do with grapes. Yes, you can whack me for talking all about it till now. Hehe.

Its three years since Ive been wanting to go to Central Park. And I wanted to go there only in Spring. Oh yeah, I know they don't have grapes growing there, they just have Strawberry Fields. Haha!

Okay, sorry.. Ill get back to my topic. Yes so its been three years since I have wanted to visit this lovely, serene patch (patch? Wake up lady, its HUGE!) of green land not too far away from where we live. Well, the first year we just got to the US and by the time I learnt about it it was winter. And in winter, I would dare not step onto the walkway out of my house, let alone Central Park. Then the following year we decided we would go there, but on the way we met friends who were going to The Bronx Zoo and we just joined them. Blah. And by the third year I was heavily pregnant and due in mid winter. And considering how house-bound you get with a new baby the whole idea of going in Spring to NY had to be thrown out of the window.

But here I am, in my fourth year of hope... and this weekend we plan to go. Then again, I dont want to raise my anxiety until the event happens and is over! For all you know we will end up shopping in some mall down the road instead...

Funny, how there are some things in life that dont happen and we just settle with what is? We console ourselves that its never going to happen. Lets see if my grapes turn sweet this weekend!

An Ode to Mom!

Mother's Day! We could pass it off as just another "Day" in the year... Just like Valentine's day, Friendship Day etc. But I'm guessing it would be a lot easier to do this, had I not been a Mom myself. And I'm thinking it would be a pretty looking greeting card with some nice words - Mom, thank you for being there for me. For being so sweet always and being who you are!

Sounds good. Sounds fair. And, definitely will make her SO HAPPY.

But ever since I hopped onto this new role, I think its just not enough. This day seems to have taken over a whole new meaning for me although we don't quite celebrate it in our culture. For starters, I have come to believe its a lot more than filling tummies, changing diapers, and being a play pal. It transcends way beyond this. And the world will agree. But how I failed to notice all that is something that makes me feel totally stupid.

I never knew how much value that first smile from a baby held for a new mom until my little boy parted his lips, looked at me (yes, me!) and gave that precious expression!! I never knew the effort it took in putting just about ten morsels of food into that same little mouth and in the end of a one hour feeding session feel as if I had the meal! I never knew the unbound joy of hearing that same little mouth babble nonsensical words and believe that he was telling me he wants me with him always! And while I promise to hold his hand for until I can, I feel the pleasure of him grow with every passing day... with a bittersweet sensation at the back of my mind!

Just as I do that, I sit back and wonder - It's just over a year now, and I've come to this stage where I have a whirlwind of emotions running in my heart... I'm wondering just how MY Mom feels after all these years of being a mother.

Kudos to you Mom, and yes, this time I mean every word I'm saying - I Love You for Who You ARE!!!

The Net Effect

If you're thinking this is just another article about how the "Net" has changed our lives positively, you are right. And, if you're thinking this is just another article about how the "Net" has changed out lives negatively, you are right again! See, I just gave you a win-win situation.

So, what do I want to prove here? Something that lurks in the gray areas of the Internet-aftermath!

When the World Wide Web boomed in leaps and bounds, I was excited, to say the least. Like so many of you out there, I too was slowly but steadily getting addicted. Then there was this craze of getting all my friends connected via the web. And in a short span of time, as Internet cafe's blossomed in every street, even the ones who were not very technologically adept had an email id and got chatting.

I was simply overjoyed to be able to chat with my friend who lived down the road via my computer. Days went by, life took us our ways. She moved to another city. But hey, thanks to the net we were in touch. Years flew past and then I met her after over half a decade. And that moment, all of a sudden, there was a feeling of emptiness in the air between us. We used to chat often, but now were unable to begin a simple conversation. The exchange of words that seemed so easy through the paraphernalia of technology had somehow put us in a weird spot. It took us a while to really get talking because over the years chatting had made us portray another side to us. Not that we meant to do so, but it just happened. We had to use bits and pieces of our "net" conversations to actually get things flowing. Its one thing to say, time and lifestyles change people but its totally another with a situation like this.

Yes, we could argue saying its not necessarily due to the Internet. Things like this happened even during the times when snail mail flourished. That, I would say, was different. You dint quite chat, per se. The time lapse between letters did help to a certain extent. There is a lot more to real-time chatting than there is to writing letters. Online chatting gives you a lot of options and not to forget, flexibility! Im sure you'll agree with me the next time you tell that old friend online that you have to go out and click that little 'x' mark to close the chat window, but all you wanted to do was end the conversation. I'm guessing that's how the other facet of individuals slowly surface. Then, suddenly before you know it, that incoming message from an ex-coworker with whom you shared your coffee breaks becomes a hindrance.

No, I'm not against chatting. I do it almost all the time too. But I was wondering if I'm the only one who feels this way. Do you, too?

One for the 'Ages'

I sat across the table with my husband at a restaurant that we decided to stop by after months to have Mumbai Style Chaat. My little son, Samvit, was perched upon an old restaurant-style high chair next to me. We enjoyed the spicy snack while the lady at the neighboring table kept watching Samvit's antics as he made weird noises and kept himself busy with the tissue papers and ketchup packets. I could sense a question coming my way.

The lady asked - "How old is he?"

"Fourteen months". Fourteen months? Woah. Where did I pick that up from? I could have simply rounded it off as One year. Why did two months count? I realized Id picked up this way of saying my child's age from friends and other people who project their childrens' age in months.

I remember meeting a mother of a little girl at party and when I asked her age, the lady sighed and said, "Oh she is twenty two months.. such a brat already!". It took me a moment to decipher that. I realised she could have easily told me her daughter would turn two shortly.

How the months slowly fade away, I really don't know. At one time a child is thirty six months and the next thing you know he is four years old. And then before you know it he is in his teens. And before he knows it, its the late-twenties. And before his kids know it, its already mid-forties. And when its time to retire, phew, sixty plus!! No, Im not going to venture describing anythign beyond that. I dont think I'll make it anywhere close to my fifties anyway....!!

Let us ass.u.me....

I still vividly remember my History teacher way back from seventh grade... Short, fair, neatly worn hair and a voice that made heads turn. Like most teachers, she had a favourite statement.... "Don't assume things I did not mention... Assume almost implies making an ass of you and me!Ass.U.Me. Get it?" At that moment it seemed funny and really nothing but just another remark from a teacher who was furious at her students.

But today as I look back and think about it, it makes way much more sense than I thought. And now, as it seems to emerge from my mind, it comes generously coated with all the ambiguity life has to offer. All that is certain, enveloped with all that is uncertain and intangible.

It may sound puzzling at first to know the way life leads us through its rather monotonous ways but yet gets us to milestones that we seek. And on the way, we encounter so much, that makes what we can call "life". One very nice quote I remember at this point is, "Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans". So true. You assume so many things and make plans but life takes you in an entirely different direction.

The reason this thought came to me was due to a simple incident that occurred not too long ago. On just another unusual day, we woke up, did all that we had to do and the day went by. We were invited for dinner at my aunt's place in Bangalore since we were to travel back to the US and had just two days left. We had a great time there. Then when we got home, just as you too may have assumed we slept. I too assumed that I will sleep. But the next thing I know I had the worst abdominal pains and was taken to the hospital and admitted there. And before I could gain back my strength I had IV/drips flowing down into my body. And the way the events turned it made us wonder if we could travel at all.

How comfortably we had assumed that nothing could go wrong! We all do this so many times. In fact, almost all the time with our near and dear ones. We assume that nothing can happen. But when it does, it takes us by shock and surprise. We assume that we can comfortably live in our own orbits and assume that nothing can happen to us. A neighbour happens to be a part of a car crash, we assume it could never be us. A stranger misses his flight - oh, that could never be us. A building burns down in the next town - that can not happen to us, ever. Terror strikes a country - oh, not us, NO Way!! We forget to count our blessings, forget to give credit to everyone in our lives, and forget to thank God what is in our hands. We assume, its all normal and cant change. We assume way too many things for our own good. We assume!!

Pinks and Blues

A month or two ago we met up with one of our family friends. We were generally conversing regarding children and the 'oh-so-scary-for-parents' peer pressure. We discussed how kids these days ask for fancy, hi-tech gadgets not because they want it but more because their friends have it. To a certain extent its easy to stop them and control their demands. But what if this so called peer pressure extends to a psychological domain? What do you do when it begins questioning your child's existence with other children his age?

This friend we met have a son who is about eight years old. One day after school he apparently came over to his mother and told her he wanted a new pair of sports shoes. She was surprised because the one he had right then was something he had picked up out of his own will not very long ago. When she denied his request he said, "Ma, but they all say if I wear this shoe I'm a girl". His mom was perplexed. She asked him, "Why would they say that and why would you believe so?". He replied sadly, "Because it has a purple line in it". This surprised his mother even more. He quickly added, "Purple is for girls." She stood looking at him with her lips pursed not knowing what more to say. The next day he had another pair of shoes with no streaks or shades of purple or pink.

I'm not sure sometimes if I could call this as peer-pressure or simply imbibing ideas into young minds. Ideas that they grow up with and ones that carve the way they think. Its amazing but true, but we elders too do fall for such things only so that we "go with the flow".

Not too long after a baby is born a major part of the child's wardrobe is dominated by shades of just one colour. Pinks for girls, blues for boys. I think its becoming so cliched and so boring too. In fact, its so very contradicting - In a world where we are fighting to have both genders equal, we begin by differentiating right from the start!! While nature offers us so many hues, we are busy categorizing ourselves in to the Pinks and the Blues.