Distant Connections

This summer saw me taking more walks every now and then than any past summer that I have spent here in the US. It has been a long journey from where we started - with absolutely no knowledge of how things 'work' here to being one with the everyday life of this country. Well, that being said, let me get straight to the point.

I grab a chance to go out for a walk almost every time the weather is pleasant and I am in the mood for some outdoors...be it with my lil sonny or without (If hubby's home that is, obviously!). And, I'm considering it normal to take a peek or two around and see things going on rather than concentrate on how you put one foot in front of the other on the road ahead. There were so many things I noticed this way. Regular walkers - some of them who chose to acknowledge my presence others who dint bother, kids playing, flowers, cars, bikes, sidewalk art by children, trees with their leaves slowly changing hues, pets - running outside, inside homes... and those peering outside windows!

With so much going on it was hard to miss things that lingered on every time I went out...and one such thing was a little white fluffy puppy that happened to perennially prop itself against the patio door of its home as if waiting to come out. I remember showing it to my son many times and he would be so excited and the lil pup would wag his tail or just move a bit as if he knew we were watching him. I never missed seeing him on all of my walks.

One day - I missed him. I missed the curtains that fell over him making him seem angelic. I missed the furniture that lay beyond my eyesight inside that house. I missed the lamps that glowed endlessly lighting up the indoors. I missed it all. They perhaps had moved. I did not even know them. I had NEVER seen that family either. Just that little puppy that sat near that patio door. And, one day it was all over. Gone.

Funny, how we make connections with people and things we do not really know and yet bond with them at some weird distant level. And when they're gone, we actually miss them!! Life and its funny ways, I tell ya....

The Chosen One

I finally got down to reading Dan Brown's Digital Fortress. It's a heavy read, nonetheless, but a refreshing change from Khaled Hosseini's Kite Runner. Not that the latter was bad. It simply was a different genre althogether and I cannot compare the two. I simply made a mention of it to show off what all I read. Ha!

I loved Kite Runner. I did crave for more of the emotional roller coaster ride that I was on as I read it. But, when it comes to Dan Brown, I can sit with his books for hours and rack my brains out trying to just get every intricate detail of his work into my head. I wish he writes more. I always wanted to read Digital Fortress. But, it chose me as its reader only now. And, when I say that I am reminded of a dialogue from the movie Transformers where an actor says, "The driver does not choose his car, the car chooses his driver".

But even before I saw that movie and heard and statement, I always believed in this philosophy. If something had to happen to you, no matter how much you wanted it, it will come to you only if it chooses you. Yeah, you can call it fate, destiny, luck. Call it by whatever name, but, with time its a matter of choice.

Of course, it is often believed a strong/wise makes his own destiny. But, come on... somethings are simply not in our hands. There is a power out there (who most of us like to call God) that decides what we get and what we dont. It's one thing to chase what you don't get and finally accomplish it and its totally another to get something you desired for ages when you least expected it. Perhaps its hard-work, perhaps it's luck. But whatever it is... it will come to you if you are the chosen one!

Fluctuating Interests

Oh, not another article about the financial meltdown. No, please! I know that's what you are thinking. No. Never. I don't have much contribution (as if there is less already) to make in that effect. But speaking of interest in terms of what the word means to a layman (yes, the one relating to being curious, the one that gets you concerened or something that seems to draw the attention of a person), I do have some thoughts to share.

Before we had our baby, there was one phase where all we thought about doing on weekends was hitting the pinball lanes. Bowling took over like nothing else. But with time the magic seemed to die down. Then all of a sudden there was a plethora of good movies releasing and we simply could not find ourselves away from theatres. Of course, things change after a baby. So, this pattern slowly faded away and if there was one thing we did every weekend, it was hopping around baby stores. Well, that's understandable.

But, in life we go through so many stages and phases, that I'd want to believe it's not only children who need to be kept occupied. Even with busy lives, there is a little part of us that devours pleasures in temporary infatuation with some activity. For me, that activity for a long time now, has been working out and exercising. Although that still continues... slowly blogging took over. And, now I can see myself craving some bollywood masala movies. Well, its unfair on our parts to expect our children to be "occupied" with that one set of toys all the time when we ourselves like variety. Sometimes to socialize, sometimes just to enjoy a little "me" time.

Hmm, God has made us this way. To want new things everytime. To hold on to the daily grind and yet subject ourselves to fluctuating interests. I'm thinking its those little things we do that keeps us sane, put-together. And, I also think it's these little things that keep our spirits soaring above the monotony of life. Don't you?

Trust with a Twist

Life and its monotonous ways. Weekdays - work, weekends - grocery shopping! Yup, we're all there. So, last weekend we went grocery shopping too. I had my list in my hand and my little sonny propped up on the shopping cart. My husband was fetching the things I told him to from around the store as I walked around looking at other stuff (Ah! That's SO woman-like!!hehe).

Well, so we were pretty much done with all our purchases and our gaze stopped on a huge stack of mangoes. Oh yes, 'tis the season to be drooly! We went right over and the placard on top of the stack said we could pick up nine mangoes for a certain price. I tried to fish around but there was way too much crowd had gathered there. So we swapped turns with baby and cart. My husband stepped in. I could see him smelling the fruit as he chose the ones he wanted to buy.

Funny part is we really have not ventured out to buy mangoes ever since we got to the US. But this time we thought we will give it a shot. So every now and then, before his count reached nine, he would raise one arm up with a fruit and show it to me for my approval/disapproval. Not like I know too much of it either, but sometimes I would like to think husbands make us feel important. But to make matters worse he was a good seven to eight feet away from me.

Anyway, as we finished picking up our share and began walking away, a gentleman walked up to him and asked him,"Are they sweet?" And with an air of confidence (and confusion) my husband shrugged his shoulders in an 'How-do-I-know?' manner AND said," Yes". I could not stop myself from turning away and laughing.

We came home and I was so impatient that I washed and cut up one to taste it. I gave my husband a piece and ate one too. What can I say? Haha! It was red outside but not ripe. It was a golden yellow inside but not (yet) sweet. I pity that man who trusted us on our word.

Isn't it amazing? When on one hand we say we cannot trust people, but on the other we take such chances? Well, this was a small thing.. but there are so many bigger things where we'd rather trust an unknown person than ourself or people we know. Life and its monotonous ways... or should I say weird ways?

Wheels of Fortune

Ok. As much as I avoid talking about baby, motherhood and parenting... I simply can't get it totally out of my head. It's a part and parcel of my daily life and I had to throw in this post on a teeny weeny incident that got me thinking.

The sun had (finally) decided not to set at 4ish and the sunrays made their way well into 7:30pm just the other day. Yes, I'm still in Spring into Spring mode. But why not? It's among the best feelings I've ever felt.

So, as the sunshine danced its way down the skies, the fresh air beckoned me to take a walk. But, it was not just as easy as you thought. Change, wear sneakers and off you go? Nopes! With me, I had to lug on my cell phone, keys, a water bottle, a diaper bag (if its a longer stay outside), a mind satisfied that my son will sit without throwing tantrums in his stroller!! Oh, I forgot to add stroller to my list.

The first time that I did this whole exercise I was only cursing myself (and the blood rushing to all my muscles) as to why I decided to take my little boy out. But, hey, he needed some fresh air too! And for all the glories of living on the first floor garden apartment (no elevator) I had to do stretches, bicep curls, squats, lunges and abs all in a matter of 2 minutes in order to get my "list" out and rolling. It took another couple of minutes to figure out in which handle I put what from my list so I could answer my phone just in case anyone called. Phew, and then I gave that little nudge and the two of us were out enjoying all the wholesome goodness of a nice spring evening.

As I walked, I thought about how much I complained to myself when I got out of home. How many times during my "mini-workout" routine did I reconsider what I was doing? How many times did I battle with myself about staying home as against going out simply because I did not want to encounter those 2 minutes? Then something occurred to me - How did my parents manage this? I mean, they did not use strollers back then. In fact, even now in India most people don't even own one. They carry their babies and toddlers all around the place. And that sure needs a lot more strength than my "mini-workout" to get us out for walk. And that moment, I thanked God for having giving some man somewhere the idea of inventing the wheel....and with time and evolution, a stroller! Trust me, they are wheels of fortune.

Ugh, the grapes are sour!

Yeah. Its summer. Well, almost! And I know you would disagree with me because the grapes ARE turning sweet. Ah, what a wake up from the cold, bitter winter indeed. Hmph! But what I want to tell you is a whole different story... and, its nothing to do with grapes. Yes, you can whack me for talking all about it till now. Hehe.

Its three years since Ive been wanting to go to Central Park. And I wanted to go there only in Spring. Oh yeah, I know they don't have grapes growing there, they just have Strawberry Fields. Haha!

Okay, sorry.. Ill get back to my topic. Yes so its been three years since I have wanted to visit this lovely, serene patch (patch? Wake up lady, its HUGE!) of green land not too far away from where we live. Well, the first year we just got to the US and by the time I learnt about it it was winter. And in winter, I would dare not step onto the walkway out of my house, let alone Central Park. Then the following year we decided we would go there, but on the way we met friends who were going to The Bronx Zoo and we just joined them. Blah. And by the third year I was heavily pregnant and due in mid winter. And considering how house-bound you get with a new baby the whole idea of going in Spring to NY had to be thrown out of the window.

But here I am, in my fourth year of hope... and this weekend we plan to go. Then again, I dont want to raise my anxiety until the event happens and is over! For all you know we will end up shopping in some mall down the road instead...

Funny, how there are some things in life that dont happen and we just settle with what is? We console ourselves that its never going to happen. Lets see if my grapes turn sweet this weekend!

An Ode to Mom!

Mother's Day! We could pass it off as just another "Day" in the year... Just like Valentine's day, Friendship Day etc. But I'm guessing it would be a lot easier to do this, had I not been a Mom myself. And I'm thinking it would be a pretty looking greeting card with some nice words - Mom, thank you for being there for me. For being so sweet always and being who you are!

Sounds good. Sounds fair. And, definitely will make her SO HAPPY.

But ever since I hopped onto this new role, I think its just not enough. This day seems to have taken over a whole new meaning for me although we don't quite celebrate it in our culture. For starters, I have come to believe its a lot more than filling tummies, changing diapers, and being a play pal. It transcends way beyond this. And the world will agree. But how I failed to notice all that is something that makes me feel totally stupid.

I never knew how much value that first smile from a baby held for a new mom until my little boy parted his lips, looked at me (yes, me!) and gave that precious expression!! I never knew the effort it took in putting just about ten morsels of food into that same little mouth and in the end of a one hour feeding session feel as if I had the meal! I never knew the unbound joy of hearing that same little mouth babble nonsensical words and believe that he was telling me he wants me with him always! And while I promise to hold his hand for until I can, I feel the pleasure of him grow with every passing day... with a bittersweet sensation at the back of my mind!

Just as I do that, I sit back and wonder - It's just over a year now, and I've come to this stage where I have a whirlwind of emotions running in my heart... I'm wondering just how MY Mom feels after all these years of being a mother.

Kudos to you Mom, and yes, this time I mean every word I'm saying - I Love You for Who You ARE!!!